Saturday, December 31, 2011

All Set (For Home)

Written Friday, DecemberYesterday

I saw a man hold his breath for over two minutes last night.
Not in person.
It was on a documentary.
It's probably something that you should see.
Some might say his effort outweighs his reward (don't worry; he doesn't die).
What we can push ourselves to do is remarkable if we just meditate and eat enough peyote.

Speaking of trips, I did my first feature spot last night.
It felt great, which feels even better.
The second is tonight.
Today is far less uncomfortable now that yesterday is over.
Do you ever contemplate what you might contemplate if there was no opposite sex?
We'd be thinking whatever it is snails are thinking, probably.
"Man, I wish I had more direction in my life."
I ended on a Newfie joke during the show.
Which is 100% shameful.
But they really talked me into it.
I explicitly told them that they were receiving special treatment.
It was my biggest laugh of the night, which is much more embarrassing.
Now I see how Buddy Wassisname gets the dollars.
Of course, they do Sarah.
I could never do Sarah.

Speaking of which, Turpin still hasn't ejected her baby yet.
But we're all crossing our fingers that it will grow into its giant head.

Snails do screw other snails.
It looks like this:

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